[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
For everybody following the Johnny Depp defamation trial, that is the large occasion: Amber Heard testifying, telling her story of the couple’s relationship — and the alleged abuse she suffered at her ex-husband’s arms. We’ve learn her account — partially written by others, because it seems. But now she’s reliving it, beneath oath.
Amber’s testimony started on Wednesday as she advised the court docket this was “the most painful and difficult thing I’ve gone through”:
“I struggle to find the words to describe how painful it is. This is horrible for me to sit here for weeks and relive everything, hear people that I knew some well, some not, my ex-husband with whom I shared a life, speak about our lives in the way that they have.”
Now it’s her flip.
We’ve heard different accounts of Amber and Johnny’s romance, even from the Pirates of the Caribbean star. But not from her perspective.
She gushed in regards to the early days, saying:
“I fell head over heels in love with this man. I felt like this man knew me and saw me in a way no-one else had. I felt he understood me, where I came from. I felt when I was around Johnny I felt like the most beautiful person in the whole world. I felt like a million dollars.”
She testified how they’d met on the set of the 2011 film The Rum Diary. She defined that she had already caught emotions, however the co-stars’ kissing scene sealed the deal.
“We had a kissing scene and it felt real. He really kissed me using his tongue. We just had this, it was a friendship, flirtatious thing. I felt chemistry. I felt this other thing that went beyond the pail of my job for sure. Johnny clearly felt that way about me but at the same time we were both in relationships and it’s a job and it was intimidating. I remember feeling intimidated and nervous about that. We went our separate ways and I didn’t hear from him for a long time…”
She swears they weren’t dishonest on that movie. It wasn’t till later that he reached out:
“There was no contact until Johnny called me on the phone one day, invited me to his home in Beverly Hills. It was out of the blue.”
She says he started sending her items as an overture:
“He sent me a beautiful dress I wore in the movie with a beautiful handwritten note that said happy wrapping. He sent me a few gorgeous, expensive what I can only assume are collectible books. When I was away filming on a different job, he did send me some guitars.”
It actually might be learn as what’s referred to as “lovebombing” — overwhelming a possible/new accomplice with adoration and items, one thing abusers typically do to shortly win somebody over. Of course, it might additionally simply be considerate. Gifts are one of many recognized 5 love languages, and loads of folks do do it with sincere intentions.
In both case, it labored. She stated the connection started whereas they have been selling the film:
“Then we fell in love. We went on this press tour and it was a beautiful and strange time. We’re flying from one city to the next, Europe, New York, Los Angeles and we’re traveling around talking about this movie and we were falling in love. In London he had me sat next to him at dinner and we ended up spending the night together in my hotel room. For the rest of the press tour it was on.”
However, she says, Johnny suggested her they needed to preserve their relationship secret as a result of he and Vanessa Paradis hadn’t gone public with their separation but — a crimson flag she finally ignored:
“We had this whirlwind romance in these beautiful places, falling in love, not able to show it because the world didn’t know about the split between he and his former partner. As a woman, that is troubling. He swore to me they hadn’t shared a bed for a year but were protecting the kids by not making it known to the press.”
She says Johnny made it make sense:
“We had to be really under the radar. Johnny pointed out the world would blame me and call me a homewrecker. We were secretly dating. It was beautiful.”
The courtship continued. She testified:
‘That feeling, he’d lavish items and expressions of affection, say how he by no means meet a lady like me.”
She shared one explicit reminiscence of the romance that was rising in its personal little “bubble”:
“He took this foil off this bottle and put it on my ring finger — I’d been with him a few weeks – it felt very intense. We weren’t doing normal life stuff, we were hiding in these places around the world. He had so many homes, my home at the time. It was a bubble, in this little bubble of secrecy and it felt like this warm glow, music, books we loved, poetry we both loved by heart. It felt like a dream. It felt like absolute magic.”
She recalled days of Johnny “painting me, reading poetry to me, just talking.” But the bubble was about to burst.
The ‘Whore’ Word
The first bits of controlling, dominating habits Amber alleges got here within the type of phrases. She says Johnny made her really feel soiled for being an actress:
“It felt really dirty to be an actor. Nevermind that he was one. It was dirty that I wanted to do this job that I wanted to do and I was doing the job of an actress.”
She says he would make little feedback about what she was sporting, like, “Oh that’s really what you’re wearing, kid? Oh, I see.” Gross.
She described having worn a revealing gown to an occasion and asking him if he noticed it, to which he replied:
“‘Yeah, I think the whole world saw that, kid. That’s how they’ll remember you… That’s what you’re putting out there in the world, no one will ever forget that, and that’s all they’ll see you as. And that’s what you wanted. That’s what you were going for.’ My dress was low-cut, I get it… But I felt really embarrassed and horrible that I wore that. I felt like, how could I have made that choice? Of course he’s right. You start to believe, I started to believe it.”
Then the little needling, the implications, gave option to straight-up calling her a “whore.” As Amber put it:
“It didn’t start with using the ‘whore’ word, it was just comments, until it would escalate.”
Of course, it will definitely escalated to violence, Amber claims. Just not towards her at first. She stated he would have “a blow-up” and victimize inanimate objects in a blind rage:
“At first, it was just he’d throw something, smash some things. He loves to smash up a place, an apartment, furniture. That’s what it started with, a glass. He threw a glass at me. I remember, it was summer. And he just threw this glass across the kitchen. It didn’t hit me. It shattered behind me, and I remember thinking that it very easily could have hit me.”
The Aquaman star testified there was a “pattern of escalation, where he’d throw a glass or turn over a table, then he would hit the wall and he would hit the wall really close to my head.” She stated, emotionally:
“You know, like, when I’m standing there, you know, just hit the wall, screaming at me… Then he would disappear and get clean and sober, and he’d come back and tell me that he was done drinking, he was over it, it was done, he’d cleaned himself up, he had done it before and he would do it again.”
That’s why she stayed, she says:
“He would go back to this wonderful, almost unreal — real, but unbelievably nice, sensitive, kind, warm, generous, interesting, funny man that I loved. And he would make me feel so loved. I would feel so distant from that thing that was so scary that I would not even recognize it. That was how our relationship kind of started developing that first year.”
Then, she claims, he graduated into hitting her.
The First 3 Strikes
Amber says the primary time Johnny struck her, it was over one thing “so stupid, so insignificant”:
“I will never forget it. It changed my life.”
“I was sitting on the couch having a normal conversation. He was drinking. I think he was using cocaine because there was a jar — a jar — of cocaine on the table. There’s music playing, smoking cigarettes and I ask him about the tattoo he has on his arm.”
The tattoo in query is the notorious Winona Forever that he received for Winona Ryder — and altered to say Wino Forever after they broke up. She stated:
‘To me it looked like black marks, I didn’t know what it stated. I stated, ‘What does it say?’ He stated it says ‘Wino’ and I believed he was joking, and I laughed.”
That snigger modified the whole lot. She says:
“He slapped me across the face and… I laughed. I laughed because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought this must be a joke. Because I didn’t know what was going on. I just stared at him, kind of laughing still…”
Amber claims she thought Johnny was going to snigger, that this was going to be some darkish joke. Instead, he stated:
“‘You think it’s so funny? You think it’s funny, bitch? You think you’re a funny bitch?’”
Holding again tears, she stated he hit her a second time:
“He slapped me again. It was clear it wasn’t a joke anymore. And I stopped laughing, but I didn’t know what else to do. You… I didn’t know what to do. You think you’d have a response, but I as a woman had never been hit like that. I’m an adult, I’m sitting next to the man I love, and he slapped me for no reason, it seemed like. And I missed the point, it was that stupid.”
She says she “just stared at him” frozen. Then, she claims, he slapped her “one more time, hard.” How laborious?
“I lose my balance. I’m sitting on the edge of the couch, and I’m all of a sudden realizing the worst thing has happened to me that could possibly happen to you. I realize… I wish so much he said he was joking.”
She stated the slap “didn’t physically hurt” her however emotionally she was devastated:
“I was sitting there on the carpet, looking at the dirty carpet, wondering how I wound up on this carpet, why I never noticed that this carpet was so filthy before. I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t know what else to say, how to react. I just sat there thinking how much time do I have before I figure out what I have to do because god did he just me? No, I didn’t want to leave him, I didn’t want this to be the reality, to have the man I was in love with… I mean, you don’t come back from that. I know you can’t hit a woman.”
She shortly added:
“You can’t hit a man, you can’t hit anyone… I knew it was wrong and that I had to leave him. And that’s what broke my heart because I didn’t want to leave him… I didn’t want to leave the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She continued, her voice quivering:
“I wish I could sit here and say I stood up and I walked out of that house and I drew a line and I stood up for myself but just looking at the dirty carpet trying to will myself to get up and to walk out the door because I knew I needed to. And then I, really slowly, I stood up and looked at him in the eye and just looking at him, frankly, because I didn’t know what else to do. And before I know it he starts crying. And you know, I’d never seen an adult man cry… It’s weird.”
She stated Johnny began bawling:
“He gets down on his knees, he grabs my hands, he’s touching my hands and he’s saying, ‘I’m sorry baby, I thought I put the f**ker away, it’s done, I thought I put The Monster away, I’ve done it before, it’s done.’”
She says she nonetheless “didn’t know what to say”:
“I just remember thinking he was crying, he seemed so sorry but knew I couldn’t just forgive him, right? Because it means it will happen again, no? I mean, I’ve seen the health class videos like everyone else.”
She says as a substitute of claiming something she went to her automotive and sat there silently.
“I was heartbroken. I turned the key and drove home.”
The first lower often is the deepest, however… It will get worse.
In one other surprising story, Amber claims how Johnny’s jealousy prompted him to sexually assault her. She recalled that she and Johnny have been hanging out with associates doing medication at a trailer park in the midst of nowhere within the desert, sitting round a campfire.
One lady who took MDMA began feeling the results and “kind of just leaned into me and put her head on my shoulder and grabbed my arm.” Amber took this as simply the impact of the medication, however Johnny instantly received jealous:
“Johnny gets really activated, he gets really upset. He gets… Well, at first she thought he was kidding… I think we all did… He was like, ‘Hey man what are you doing? What do you think you’re doing?’ She kind of giggled and kind of leaned into me more.”
But, as Amber tells it, this wasn’t her first go-round with Johnny.
“I knew in my body instantly it wasn’t a joke, but she didn’t. So she’s kind of still attached to my arm when he says it again to her, louder, ‘Hey man, you think you’re touching my f**king girl? You think you’re touching my f**king girl? That’s my f**king girl.’ He gets louder and louder.”
The poor lady didn’t know how you can react:
“She did this thing, kind of half understanding what’s going on, I think she kind of started to cry at this point but kind of threw up her hands and Johnny grabbed her wrist and twisted it and pulled her into him and said, ‘Do you know how many pounds of pressure it takes to break a human wrist? Huh?’ He kind of held her and she just looked frozen. And she’s crying, just denying understanding what’s going on.”
Amber says she doesn’t keep in mind how lengthy it took or precisely what was stated, however she calmed him down and received him to let go and comply with “go and talk about it in the trailer.” Things received worse within the trailer.
“Johnny tells me that I had been instigating and asking for this and I had invited it and I hadn’t been honest with him about my relationship with this woman.”
She stated the reality was that she didn’t actually know the lady in any respect, had solely simply met her.
“I remember in the trailer he’s accusing me of lying about it, that I had something with her. I’m trying to defuse that, I’m trying to calm him down. And it seemed like he turned all that rage onto the trailer itself and started smashing things. He picked up something on the table and threw it right into the glass cabinet. He hit with his hand a wall sconce. He cleared the tabletop on the little fold-down kitchen/dining room area…”
Retreating from the screaming and violence didn’t work.
“I eventually go back into the bedroom area, he comes into the bedroom area. We had what I can only describe as a… it sounded like nonsense.”
She stated he wasn’t making sense anymore, which led her to imagine that the medication had kicked in for him now. She stated all the barrage of accusations modified instructions.
“It became clear to me was looking for something. He cleared things off the bed. I went into the bathroom, and as I come out he asked me where it is, and how long I’d been hiding it. I was like, ‘What are you talking about?’ He says, ‘You know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m f**king talking about, be honest with me. Where are you hiding it?’”
She says she reacted as anybody would, asking what she’s hiding and the place she’s alleged to be hiding it.
“He starts what feels like patting me down or saying he’s patting me down, I can’t recall, but he ripped my dress, the strap top part of my dress.”
She added, on an emotional tangent:
“I had just dyed this thing pink, it’s my… I had just finished that dress.”
But it saved going:
“He’s grabbing my breasts, he’s touching my thighs, he rips my underwear off, and then he…”
Really getting choked up, she continues:
“…proceeds to do a cavity search.”
“He said he was looking for his drugs, his cocaine, his coke. I was wondering how somebody who didn’t do cocaine and was against it — that was in and of itself causing problems in our relationship. How could I hide – why would I hide his drugs? He was insinuating that I was doing it, or something? It made no sense. And he was telling me, ‘We’re gonna conduct a cavity search.’”
That turned precisely what it feels like. A sexual assault. Amber claims:
“Like, he just shoved his fingers inside me. And I just stood there staring at the stupid light. I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there while he did that, he twisted his fingers around. I didn’t stay stop or anything, I just…”
It appeared at that time she was mainly out of breath. Her testimony is predicted to proceed on Thursday.
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[Image via Law&Crime Network/YouTube.]