Grey kit, Frogs, Michael Jackson…

There is lots to be stated about graciousness in defeat – however there’s much more to be stated about making us all snigger with a ridiculous excuse.

The fantastic thing about managers being interviewed so quickly after full-time in soccer is that, with feelings nonetheless working excessive, they typically say issues they wouldn’t dream of claiming with the good thing about time to settle down.

It has led to some hilarious excuses and moans through the years, with floodlight operators and statues amongst these memorably blamed.

Pep Guardiola – The ball

“It shouldn’t be acceptable, the ball was unacceptable for a high-level competitors. It is simply too mild, it strikes in all places, it’s not a great ball. It is not possible to attain with a ball like that and I can say that as a result of we received, I’m not making excuses.

“All of my players said: ‘What is that?’ I’m sorry Carabao Cup is not a serious ball for a serious competition. It’s [for] marketing, money, OK but it’s not acceptable – [it has] no weight, nothing.”

Jose Mourinho – The floodlight operator and the followers

“I feel the person chargeable for the lights was in the identical temper as the gang as a result of everybody was sleeping.

“It took him 20 minutes to understand that it was dark, but it took me 30 minutes to understand that the stadium was not empty. When we scored was when I realised the stadium was full.”

Sir Alex Ferguson – Manchester United’s gray away equipment

“The players don’t like the grey strip. They find it difficult to pick each other out. We had to change the strip.”

Alan Pardew – The Notting Hill Carnival

“Today was a little bit unfair on us. We couldn’t move the game to Sunday because of the Notting Hill Carnival”

Tony Pulis – On why he couldn’t choose Wilson Palacios

“One day the excuse he gave not to play me was that it was ‘too windy’.”

Christian Panucci – Socks

“The thread that these socks were made with is too rough.”

Vladislav Vashchuk, Ukraine defender – Frogs 

“Because of the frogs’ croaking we hardly got a wink of sleep. We all agreed that we would take some sticks and go and hunt them.”

Manuel Pellegrini – The chilly climate

“We played very well in the first half, but maybe it was too cold in the second half.”

Mohamed Al Fayed – The statue of Michael Jackson

“This statue was a charm and we removed the luck from the club and now we have to pay the price” – Fulham had been relegated.

Kenny Dalglish – The ball, once more

“The balls were too bouncy.”

David James – Too a lot PlayStation

“I was getting carried away playing Tekken II and Tomb Raider for hours on end.”

Barry Fry – Gypsy curses

“We went three months without winning … We were desperate, so I pissed in all four corners, holding it in while I waddled round the pitch. Did it work? Well, we started to win and I thought it had, then they fucking sacked me, so probably not.”

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