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Emily Ratajkowski will always regret not fighting off a teenage boyfriend who forced himself on her when she was drunk.
The I Feel Pretty actress and model admits she had sex with the guy, who she identified as 16-year-old Owen.
In her new book, My Body, she writes: “I wish someone had explained to me that I owed him nothing. Why did my 15-year-old self not scream at the tops of her lungs? Who had taught me not to scream? I hated myself… I didn’t tell anyone what had happened that weekend with Owen. This is what you do. This is the beginning of how you forget.”
Emily told The Sunday Times magazine, “That was non-consensual sex. I was so young. I hadn’t even had sex before. So many young women I know, their first early sexual experiences border on non-consensual.”
Meanwhile, the Gone Girl star admits she felt conflicted over her looks when she was a teenager and was once sent home from a school dance at 13, because her outfit was deemed “too sexy”.
She was also warned by family members, including her father, to be careful of her body and the clothes she wore.
She said, “It was complicated for me. In many ways having my midriff show at school felt like defiance. Like nobody was going to tell me how to dress. That is definitely what my mom felt: ‘My daughter shouldn’t be ashamed of her body, it should be celebrated and maybe she should even try to work it and see what she can get out of life by exploring that opportunity’.
“But I got so many mixed signals. I had boys at school letting me know they thought I was hot, while also feeling deeply ashamed because I was making adults feel uncomfortable.”
In her new book, Emily also details an alleged encounter with Robin Thicke on the set of his Blurred Lines music video, during which he groped her breasts.